The tiny desk isn’t helping

I get up to refill my water bottle and what was once a muscle in my thigh creaks, tight and brittle, forcing my steps to shorten and my path to weave a little.

And then I wonder, who invented desks anyway? (Though more fairly I should ask, since when did I expect my spine to sit in a perfect “C” formation for eight hours?)

Honestly, it doesn’t seem fair. I walk to work, then home. I exercise daily (hah! I think about exercising daily. It’s not quite that consistent). I’m not overweight, and I’m generally healthy. So how come my hamstring stiffens before the day is over?

So now, while slippery attorneys miss (or dodge?) my phone calls and the afternoon drowsiness sets in, I’m researching desk exercises. You know, keep those muscles warm, stretched, my circulation moving throughout the day. Great idea, no?

Except they make anyone sitting at a small desk less than two feet from the nearest coworker look like a complete idiot, or worse.

“Put your right foot on your desk and lean forward,” one description begins, and I move on. That would mean putting my foot in an editor/reporter’s face, let alone giving a clean view up my skirt or down my shirt, depending on the day.

“Tap your feet up and down really fast for 30 seconds, then pump your fists in the air for 30 seconds.” Riiiiiiight, because randomly breaking out in a seated yet crazy dance won’t worry my employers at all. And so it goes for lunge walks (who thinks up these things?), desk push-offs, yoga poses, one-legged squats, and so on.

Apparently “exercises you can do at work” really means “exercises you can do at work if you have an office with a door.” Guess I’ll have to stick with shoulder shrugs and the occasional bathroom-break-side-bend-stretch to get me through the work day.

(Other tiny-cube-workers’ advice is welcome.)


1 Comment

Filed under health, work

One response to “The tiny desk isn’t helping

  1. Ali

    Feel your pain! But once attended an office seminar where they demonstrated “stress relief” exercises that are actually SOMEWHAT subtle and at least relaxing, if not actual exercising: including shoulder curls and deep breathing and then this one where you straighten your back/shoulders and then stretch your hands at either side towards the ground as hard as you can, as though you were trying to pull yourself downward – hold that for about 10 seconds, release, and roll the shoulders a bit. (Although seriously, I’d pay $50 to see you try the feet-on-desk move. SERIOUSLY.)

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