I get up to refill my water bottle and what was once a muscle in my thigh creaks, tight and brittle, forcing my steps to shorten and my path to weave a little.
And then I wonder, who invented desks anyway? (Though more fairly I should ask, since when did I expect my spine to sit in a perfect “C” formation for eight hours?)
Honestly, it doesn’t seem fair. I walk to work, then home. I exercise daily (hah! I think about exercising daily. It’s not quite that consistent). I’m not overweight, and I’m generally healthy. So how come my hamstring stiffens before the day is over?
So now, while slippery attorneys miss (or dodge?) my phone calls and the afternoon drowsiness sets in, I’m researching desk exercises. You know, keep those muscles warm, stretched, my circulation moving throughout the day. Great idea, no?
Except they make anyone sitting at a small desk less than two feet from the nearest coworker look like a complete idiot, or worse.
“Put your right foot on your desk and lean forward,” one description begins, and I move on. That would mean putting my foot in an editor/reporter’s face, let alone giving a clean view up my skirt or down my shirt, depending on the day.
“Tap your feet up and down really fast for 30 seconds, then pump your fists in the air for 30 seconds.” Riiiiiiight, because randomly breaking out in a seated yet crazy dance won’t worry my employers at all. And so it goes for lunge walks (who thinks up these things?), desk push-offs, yoga poses, one-legged squats, and so on.
Apparently “exercises you can do at work” really means “exercises you can do at work if you have an office with a door.” Guess I’ll have to stick with shoulder shrugs and the occasional bathroom-break-side-bend-stretch to get me through the work day.
(Other tiny-cube-workers’ advice is welcome.)